Create your own portal, 10 easy steps:
The basics:
- Register a stupid domain name, the more stupid and longer the better. (like yourveryownportalfjonkibonggurgelfnutt.com)
- Add a link to a searchengine that never returns anything useful (there are plenty of those).
- Create a collection of links that noone ever will use or be intrested in, this is very clever since you can add a lot links pointing to non-existing sites, and get away with it.
- Create the ugliest layout you ever could think of, preferable something totally unusable.
- Add a lof of banners that blinks and changes every second, thus irretating the visitor in the most effective way.
- Make sure the layout is optimised for something people never will use, like Netscape Navigator 4.51B with an resolution of 300*1200 and 12.5 color bits.
- If you want to add text, make sure you add it in blink tags, and with a font that is absolutly unreadle, dont forgot to make the layout in such a way that using any other font that the one specified in the document will make it even more unreadle and uglier.
- Create the layout in a big table, so the user have to wait until every little image and all banners are loaded before he will see anything.
- Add a lof java scripts and java applets, that will take a long time to download and wont work anyway because you "forgot" a lot of tags.
- Offer everyone their own mailaccount@your_silly_domain.com, thus giving a lot of opportunities for spammers. You don't need to worry about people using them, most of them probably has 142 accounts already.
